


pink in the night

by kronotriga



Series: she keeps me warm [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Asexuality Spectrum, F/F, First Kiss, Lesbian Character, Pining, Post-Time Skip, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronotriga/pseuds/kronotriga
Summary: “Does loving me hurt you?”Atsumu’s words break through Kiyoomi’s brain fog but she doesn’t know how to respond, terrified of driving her away. But this is Atsumu, who will know if she’s lying. Has it hurt her? True, she lost sleep and was out of it today, which could have led to another injury during practice, but Kiyoomi is not ashamed of loving Atsumu. Besides, how much could a kiss hurt anyway?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: she keeps me warm [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128053
Comments: 8
Kudos: 95





	pink in the night

**Author's Note:**

> my headcanon is that kiyoomi attended waseda for uni, which actually has a [gender and sexuality center](https://www.waseda.jp/inst/gscenter/en/about/) (it was established in 2017 so omi would have had the opportunity to be involved and meet other queer women in related student circles in her last year or so of college)
> 
> highly recommended [listening](https://youtu.be/c-B5yr2zyY0)

Something is up with Sakusa.

It is so out of character for her to screw up so many plays that Atsumu can only conclude she must be off because of yesterday. Or was Sakusa really that upset about Atsumu's joke this morning?

Atsumu pays more attention than usual and sure enough, Sakusa seems to be particularly clumsy when it comes to _their_ plays. She's perfectly competent connecting with the others for the most part, but she misses spiking almost every toss from Atsumu when on the same team and fumbles every serve receive when opposing each other. No one else seems to have caught on by the end of practice so Atsumu doesn't bring it up either, even when they walk home together and Sakusa apologizes for her off day in a small voice without meeting her eyes.

Atsumu graces her with a genuine smile as they part at their neighboring doors to dress to head out to Onigiri Miya and tells Sakusa to come over when she's ready. She might as well get started on icing the bruise in the meantime.

* * *

Sakusa raps sharply on her door half an hour later, as expected, but Atsumu is certainly not expecting her to be holding what appears to be an ice pack wrapped in an aqua tea towel.

"Omi," she says cautiously, "you know I was jokin' this morning, right?"

"Oh." Sakusa looks abashed and awkwardly fiddles with the edges of the towel. "It's not that I don't trust you to take care of yourself, you've been a pro for much longer than I have, but I've been worried and wasn't really thinking."

Atsumu should have remembered how literally Sakusa takes things sometimes, and the gesture is so sweet her heart warms but now _she's_ worried— the confirmation that Sakusa has been off all day because of her thoughtless words makes her cringe and ache for her friend.

"Come in, I'll stick it in the freezer, can never have too many anyway," she forces herself to laugh, backing out of the genkan to give Sakusa space. Up close she can see the faint eyebags that even Sakusa's regimen of treating with chamomile tea bags couldn't completely erase and her spiker's shoulders are uncomfortably raised, when she's only ever been completely at ease and relaxed in Atsumu's apartment. Something is definitely wrong. 

"Have a seat, Omi, I have a cup of genmaicha waitin' for you!"

She carefully takes the wrapped ice pack from Sakusa without making contact with her bare hands and makes her way to the kitchen as Sakusa removes her shoes and coat.

"We should leave soon," she hears Sakusa's soft voice from the living room.

"Almost ready, jus' wanted to check in with you first."

They’re the wrong choice of words as Sakusa immediately tenses up, back rigid from where Atsumu can see her over the kitchen island. Atsumu comes over to plop down next to her on the couch, leaving more space than usual between them just in case.

“So, are we gonna talk about practice today? Did I make you uncomfortable with my joke? I obviously never expected you to help me ice, I was just messin’ with you.”

“I might’ve taken that too literally.” Yep.

“And that was enough to bother you during practice?

Sakusa sighs, defeat laced in the breath.

"I promise I'll explain after dinner. Can we just go now, please?"

Atsumu nods and they wordlessly leave, the tea untouched and forgotten. She doesn't turn on the radio in the car and keeps stealing glances at Sakusa's dark eyes in the rearview mirror as she drives.

* * *

Meeting up at Onigiri Miya is generally a raucous affair and it probably was last night when host to both the Black Jackals and EJP Raijin. But tonight is reserved for family and old friends only, Suna and Komori seated at the counter as Atsumu walks in with Sakusa.

"Took you long enough, thought you might ditch us again." Suna somehow slouches impressively even while seated on a barstool, a thin eyebrow raised at them.

"C'mon, Rin, Kiyoomi wouldn't let her favorite cousin leave town without catching up!"

"Did you really stay an extra day just to gossip?" Sakusa grumbles, and almost sounds like herself. 

"You know we already had Coach's permission! Although you guys skipping out made me feel like the third wheel in most conversations last night," Komori pouts exaggeratedly.

A third voice pipes up as Osamu steps around the counter, hands on her hips and still wearing an apron.

"Sorry, Komori, but you're bound to be third wheel again since they're a package deal."

Atsumu catches Sakusa’s minute flinch. Oh, is she uncomfortable with the teasing about them being so close? It's not the first time Osamu has made a similar remark, but this _is_ the first time Atsumu has seen it bother Sakusa.

"Lay off, we were both too tired yesterday to come out, I already apologized."

"Sure,” Suna's gaze flits over to Sakusa, “but _she_ didn't."

Komori jabs Suna in the ribs, breaking the tense moment, but Sakusa still looks frozen. Atsumu will stick up for her if she's intimidated by Suna’s teasing, unused to it as Atsumu is.

“I fell asleep on the couch, OK? And Omi was busy haulin’ my ass to bed.”

“Wait, did you fall asleep on top of Sakusa?”

Surely not, Sakusa never would’ve allowed it, no matter how tired Atsumu was. But her last memory is of sitting next to her on the couch and then she woke up in her bed the next morning. “Nah. Right, Omi?”

* * *

Kiyoomi knows that look in her cousin's eye, the one that promises eternal teasing, but she’s not going to tolerate it about her intimate moment and realization of feelings for Atsumu.

"I was trying to be a good friend, sorry I didn't text you right away." It's both a blunt apology and subtle deflection without an outright denial. Maybe they can leave it at that without any further grilling.

But Atsumu opens her big mouth, endearing and damning at the same time. "Omi is my best friend now, you've lost your place Samu!"

Osamu snorts. "Well, I'm certainly not vyin' for the position, Sakusa can keep you." She fixes Kiyoomi with an aside glance she can't read but thankfully steers the conversation in a safer direction as they catch up over dinner.

As they're wrapping up and heading to the door Suna proposes, "How about we take a picture to commemorate? It'll probably be months before we're back in town."

Atsumu is all smiles, yelling for Osamu to get her phone out. Kiyoomi opts for standing behind Komori with an understated peace sign when the EJP Raijin duo suddenly crouch, forcing Atsumu to stand next to Kiyoomi to fit in the portrait shot. 

Atsumu raises a tentative hand. "This OK, Omi?" Kiyoomi doesn't even register what she's asking but nods anyway, distracted by Atsumu's bright smile and body heat. She gently drapes that arm over her shoulder and Kiyoomi relaxes with a small sigh, the tension she hadn't even been aware of carrying all day melting away. Atsumu does not comment, if she heard, and Kiyoomi actually smiles. _I love you, I love you, I love you._

She realizes her mistake only after the photo is already taken.

“Damn, Kiyoomi, you look in love.” 

Komori’s voice carries in the near-empty restaurant and she looks up apologetically from peering at Osamu’s phone but it’s too late.

Suna and Osamu remain fixated on the screen, shocked even, but Atsumu is still draped over her and looking at Kiyoomi with eyes widening in realization. Kiyoomi shakes her off before she sees the pity, or disgust, in them.

“Bathroom,” she grunts and speed walks away, locking the door behind her to take in a shuddering breath. She’s not going to cry, not here when she still has to go back out there and then get a ride home from Atsumu. 

Damnit. Was it really spelled out that clearly even in a shitty phone photo? Her feelings must have been obvious enough that even Osamu and Suna, who she didn’t really know all that well, still recognized them.

Kiyoomi spends a couple minutes taking slow calming breaths and splashes cold water on her face for good measure, grateful she has a handkerchief instead of having to resort to paper towels. 

She eases the door open and quietly walks down the hallway but freezes out of mortification when she hears the conversation going on.

“What do you mean you don’t remember what happened last night?” Osamu is saying. “Were you drunk?”

“No!” comes Atsumu’s indignant squawk. “I toldja, I fell asleep on the couch while reviewing the game with Omi.”

“Well, something obviously happened.” Oh god, Komori knows Kiyoomi too well. “I’ve literally never seen Kiyoomi make an expression like that in my life. I know she went on a handful of dates in college but they were only ever one-offs over coffee, she definitely never said she had feelings for any of them and now she’s acting like you two have been dating forever!”

“Did she confess after the fall during the game yesterday?”

“Wh— no! If anything I thought that upset her.”

“She sure doesn’t seem upset with you wrapped around her in the photo. I know you don’t really experience sexual attraction but what’s the harm—”

“Shut the fuck up, Sunarin!”

When the ringing silence drags on uncomfortably Kiyoomi backtracks then purposefully walks loudly into the restaurant proper. “I’m ready to go.” She nods in Osamu and Suna’s direction, glares at her cousin, and walks out the door without making eye contact with Atsumu.

* * *

After another wordless drive Atsumu holds up a hand as Kiyoomi tries to rush off after mumbling good night when they’re in their hallway. 

“‘I’ll think about it.” The last thing Kiyoomi wants or needs is pity.

“You don’t have to spare my feelings if you’re not interested, I won’t push or resent you—”

“I’ve just never thought about it before.”

Kiyoomi has to confirm, though she has an inkling. “About dating?” 

“Yeah, in general. And dating you, in particular. I’ll seriously consider it, just gimme some time.”

Kiyoomi nods, not sure what else to say.

"Can I kiss you?"

And drags in a startled inhale. "You don't have to just because you need your spiker to play better—"

"I want to." Atsumu's eyes are serious and her mouth a tight line that softens at Kiyoomi's frown. "I want to," she repeats, raising her hand to the edge of Kiyoomi's jaw, waiting for permission. 

"Suna didn’t put me up to it,” Atsumu promises. Ah, she must’ve realized Kiyoomi had overheard. “And I'm not tryin' to send mixed signals here but it might help make things clearer for me. And if I can give you something that won't hurt you, I want to."

"How would a kiss hurt me?"

“Does loving me hurt you?”

Atsumu’s words break through Kiyoomi’s brain fog but she doesn’t know how to respond, terrified of driving her away. But this is Atsumu, who will know if she’s lying. _Has_ it hurt her? True, she lost sleep and was out of it today, which could have led to another injury during practice, but Kiyoomi is not ashamed of loving Atsumu. Besides, how much could a kiss hurt anyway?

"Even if you never end up feeling the same way you're still my best friend.” Kiyoomi has to make sure Atsumu understands, as honest as she can possibly be. “As long as I don't lose you I won't regret it at all."

Atsumu brings her hand to cradle Kiyoomi’s cheek as she burns, eyes locked on hers, and brushes Kiyoomi’s upper lip with the lightest pressure from her thumb. Kiyoomi can’t help her breath hitching in a gasp, feeling as if she’s about to shake out of her skin. Atsumu freezes, taking her thumb away.

"Please kiss me," Kiyoomi whispers and closes her eyes when Atsumu leans up, breath hot on her lips before contact. Atsumu’s lips are chapped but Kiyoomi’s nerves are shot through by the gentle warmth, which sparks down her veins into the tips of her fingers and into the very edges of her hair, setting every molecule alight.

It _does_ hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> I really love suna and komori but needed instigators for plot purposes in this chapter, my apologies! I also mostly stick to their surnames bc their given names are pretty heavily gendered in Japanese (moreso than the twins and omi; though those are also generally gendered there’s enough leeway for me to allow my own suspension of disbelief as a former Japanese major)
> 
> similar photographic evidence of me being in love was caught in a candid shot a friend took back in 2013 :^) I’m honestly surprised it’s never been pointed out but maybe I was/am more subtle than thought.. tho probably not
> 
> follow the writing process on my [side twit](https://twitter.com/kronopriv)


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